Memoir - it's about what the author has learned.

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Memoir ...'we go to the genre not so much for detail or style as for “wisdom and self-knowledge,” for what the main character, who is always the author, has learned.' 

from Memoir: An Introduction, by Thomas Couser

     As a writer of memoir, I would say, that the above quote is at the essence of reading - or writing - memoir.  I'm currently reading a book by Alison Morrison, called Dodging Elephants - I can't resist books set in Africa - they have the attraction of taking me there, to places I've been, I can 'see' and I understand.  I live vicariously through the writer's experience of Africa and continually compare it to mine, maybe not the events but the sense of place and people.  You see, my soul constantly calls me back to the land of my birth and when I'm there, when my plane lands, I'm too embarrassed to do it, but I want to fall on my knees and kiss the ground, like the pope. Instead, quietly and surreptitiously I bend down and touch the ground with reverence, because I'm home, the land of my birth. 

     The thing is, I must have a split personality when it comes to my cultural identity. Although born in Africa, we left when I was three. I grew up in Wales, love and embrace Wales and it's culture and land and generally would see myself as Welsh. I have been back though, to Africa, lived there and visited the land of my birth quite a few times. 

     I once went to an Amnesty International poetry evening - must have been in 2011. Four poets were on stage and each of them gave poetry readings which related to their different cultural identities, the lands where they grew up and had lived in..  I was so inspired by their poetry, that I went home and wrote two poems - one about my birthplace Bulawayo, Zimbabwe and the other about being Welsh and definitely NOT English. Which just goes to show ... the poem entitled Bulawayo was entered in an international poetry competition and, to my astonishment, won.  The other poem, called Cymru am Byth (Wales for Ever) I read out recently, at the Poetry Society monthly Poetry@3 afternoon session - an open mike event where many experienced and beginner poets come together to read out 2 poems each.  I was surprised to find that everyone laughed and enjoyed it and I got loud applause.

     Getting back to 'Dodging Elephants'  a title which reminds me of my memoir title, ' A Hippopotamus at the Table', both those fabulous beasts, bring Africa to mind.  But Alison's book is about a cycle race from Cairo to Cape Town, set in a very different era (recent history), while mine was set in apartheid South Africa in 1975.

'Wisdom and self knowledge' ... gained through experience?  Her book - and I'm only half way through, has themes of fantastic endurance and determination in the face of huge physical obstacles. She is part of a group and must learn to adapt, support and be supported by her team.  The main themes of my story are of immersing myself in Africa, survival,  while dealing with the huge obstacles of apartheid and a police state, which formed the backdrop to our lives as surely as Table Mountain, which towered above our lives.. Tragedy knocked me back and I learned how to move forward from it, to put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.  A different person left there, than the naïve one that had arrived two years before -  both tougher and more fragile perhaps, with the mist a little thinner in front of my eyes. That's what those of us who read memoir wish to discover about the life of the author.

     Now I teach memoir writing, having graduated from the 'memoir writing school of life' by spending so many years trying to write that story.  My book was published in 2015.  Yes I have learned  from my experiences, that's why I love to teach memoir, because so many of you out there have a story to tell.  Maya Angelou says 'There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.'  That quote will start my second book.

     My second book, called Memoir Writing, How to tell a Story from your Life  will be out at the end of August.  The third one - a second memoir, called Beyond the Bounds,  set in London and Indonesia - will come out next year.  Watch this space.
Oh and a new Memoir Writing course will start in September(North London) - drop me a line if you're interested at ameryt@hotmail.com  

Lies, lies, damned lies - the subjective truth of memoir

Following on from the last article on the differences between memoir and fiction writing - what about the truth in memoir.  How true is your truth?

We all think we tell the truth, we know what is the truth and it's relatively easy to tell the difference between what is true and what is not. 

Here's a quote from a Buddhist leader of the Triratna Order - a worldwide group.  Sangharakshita is brilliant at analysing and drawing out the deepest meaning of certain concepts.  Here's his analysis of truth telling. In his book Vision and Transformation he starts by saying

'We all think we know exactly what is meant when it is said that all speech should be truthful.'
... and goes on to discuss this in relation to factual accuracy. He breaks down truth telling into a variety of components of which factual accuracy is one.

We've also all heard about how if there's an accident and several people are witnesses, they will all tell different versions of what happened. Sangharakshita again -
'We all tend to twist, distort or at least slightly bend facts, in the direction in which we would like them to go. ...'  He talks about adding to factual accuracy an 'attitude of honesty and sincerity.... saying what you really think.' 

Easy eh?  Until he asks whether most of us actually 'know what we think?' and asserts 'Most of us  live in a chronic state of mental confusion, bewilderment, chaos and disorder....How can we therefore speak the truth?'

Bringing this to the art of memoir writing, which I teach, I've often had people in my groups say that they're worried about whether they will remember enough, be able to write with any accuracy of events that happened often a long time ago.

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My first memoir - A Hippopotamus at the Table - Link to Amazon
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I've just written Chapter 8 of my second memoir.  I'm writing of events that happened 13 years ago (my first book was events from about 30+ years ago.) Before I started writing this chapter, I had a vague idea of the general scenario as it happened.  What came out, as I began to write, is two and a half thousand words about visiting someone in a police cell in Indonesia, descriptive passages, details, conversations. 

Out of the chaos and disorder in my head came a coherent story which is rather like Steven King and how he describes his writing process - as an archaeologist with a trowel, scraping away to uncover a story. He is talking about characters and events emerging in his fiction writing. But the mud and stones that I am clearing away are in my mind, in my memory.  This process enables me to put remembered events and all the thoughts and feelings that went with them at the time, into some kind of order, so that I can glue them together into a cogent story.  You just start writing about an event thinking you can't remember much and by magic the words tumble out onto the page and the story emerges, sometimes slowly, painfully, sometimes coming to a dead halt and sometimes your fingers fly across the keyboard.

Chapter 8 came to me slowly. After weeks of prevarication, I gave myself a good talking to and sat down and wrote the first two lines.  Once I'd done that it pretty much flowed out from there.  You could say (and I do) that prevarication is part of the writing process, that in the back of your mind you are sorting and ordering, sorting and ordering. By the time you psyche yourself up to write all those weeks of displacement have built up and here comes the archaeologist again, pulling out the precious object from the earth. The story seems to flow from my fingers onto the keyboard (it used to be my pen).

So to return to the title of this article - lies (ie fiction) and truth - what I've written is it one or the other.  Actually I think it is closer to truth.  What happened really happened, but from my own subjective viewpoint.  One of the other characters I'm writing about might remember it differently or they remember the same bones of the story, but with different angles and perspectives. That is their truth.  I can only write about mine.

A Memoir Book Launch on Friday September 11th 2015 @ 7 pm

You are invited to

a memoir book launch on

Friday September 11^th 2015 @ 7 pm

@ The Big Green Bookshop
Unit 1, Brampton Park Rd, Wood Green, N22 6BG
www.biggreenbookshop.com

A HIPPOPOTAMUS AT THE TABLE

by Anna Meryt

A true story of a journey to a new life

in Cape Town, South Africa in 1975

There’ll be music – blues guitar

by the fabulous Greg Mayston and

wine and readings from the book.

Extracts from the book:

• “Waiting at the reception desk to check in, I saw the toilet signs for the first time, in both Afrikaans and English - Blanke Dames (White Ladies), Nie Blanke Vrou (Non-white Females), and was shocked. The first time I had to go, I stood outside, hesitating, feeling that by choosing one, I was accepting their distinction.“
•  “Dave, Dave, I’ve been stung by a scorpion and I’ve got 10 minutes to live!  Help! Help!’ I was sobbing hysterically...

Contact me: ameryt@hotmail.com /my blog at www.ameryt.com or

call The Big Green Bookshop 020 8881 6767

Book Launch OMG You gotta come ....

I went in to the Big Green Bookshop - is it the last independent bookshop in North London?  It really is a great space for writers and booklovers. 

biggreenbookshop.com

 

 

 A Hippopotamus at the Table - my memoir out now on Amazon

A true story of a journey, a journey to a new life in Cape Town, South Africa in 1975.
Paperback available now on Amazon

Anyway I brought them a few copies of my book to sell.  Actually I was thinking about where to hold a book launch, but not sure if they'd be interested (confidence in my book seriously lacking - always need reassurance, dreading having reviews that rubbish it.... )  I know you're supposed to be confident and dynamic in promoting your book, but I'm trying not to be apologetic... well you might like it....some of it .... some chapters are Ok etc

I'm supposed to say 'Read my book everyone you'll love it, it's amazing.' I'm practising that one. Anyway Tim in The Big Green Bookshop offered to hold the book launch there and Simon (the co-owner) went 'Ooh, this looks really interesting, I'm going to take it home and read it tonight.'  or something....

Sooo... it will be there on SEPTEMBER 11TH at 7 pm... it's going to be advertised by them and public (OK you can only fit about 35 people in there).

You just have to come so put it in your diary.

 

A Hippopotamus at the Table - my memoir out now on Amazon

A true story of a journey, a journey to a new life in Cape Town, South Africa in 1975.
Paperback available now on Amazon

 A young woman, with her husband and baby travelled to South Africa in 1975 at a time when apartheid was at its height. Their journey took them from a high rise apartment in Johannesburg, to a chicken farm and then a thousand miles across the Karoo to Cape Town. There they lived for over two years at a time of growing social unrest against the rigid strictures of the apartheid system. Her husband’s work as an actor took him touring from Cape Town to the townships and into major roles in innovative theatre. Her journey became a spiritual quest to make sense of the world in which she found herself, a world where black and white mingled but were kept apart.

The government of the time was clamping down, enforcing rigid censorship and the separation of people. It was the children of the townships who fermented the riots of 1976, rebelling against the oppressive rules of a hateful system. The murders of these children resulted in a huge outcry across the world. Censorship kept that largely hidden from many of the people who lived there.

This is a story of a young family living in those times in South Africa.  The effects of apartheid crept up on them until two tragedies drove them to realise that continuing to live there had become untenable.
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Reader’s comments so far:

Compelling, evocative, riveting memoir.

I think the easy narrative style did it for me.
This is a really impressive piece of writing.
I didn’t know much about South Africa under apartheid before reading this.
An unusual story to tell.

 Excerpt from the book:

‘Waiting at the reception desk to check in, I saw the toilet signs for the first time, in both Afrikaans and English – Blanke Dames (White Ladies), Nie Blanke Vrou (Non-White Females) … the first time I had to go, I stood outside, hesitating, feeling that by choosing one I was accepting their distinction.’

Book cover

 

My interview on Arise TV entertainment channel

 

Here's link to Amazon so you can buy my book.