Anna Meryt Writings: CHAOS THEORY

Chaos theory

It's how tiny changes in anything can build into massive effects. Like a butterfly's wing flapping in Mexico can build into a tornado in Taiwan (that's the popular understanding). A better example is how tiny changes in atmospheric conditions can make accurate long-term weather forecasting almost impossible.

'Small differences amplify over time, making prediction hard.' That quote is from ChatGPT - and I think it's the easiest-to-understand explanation.

You see it in Back to the Future movies quite a bit. McFly has to be careful what he does if he goes back to the past, because if he meddles with events, the future he returns to can change drastically - not always for the better.

I was telling my cousin/niece about a friend and saying this person had a chaotic lifestyle. 'They sound great', she said. 'I love chaos, I even love the word 'chaos'.

I turned and looked at her in surprise. Most of us claim to prefer peace and quiet. We meditate to be mindful and calm. We moan to our friends when our lives descend into chaos. But here she was saying the opposite. She clearly liked the excitement and drama of chaos. Her life is often chaotic. She faces challenges that most of us would avoid at all costs - her partner has a life-threatening condition. Daily, they live on the edge. Her daughter and grandchildren are neurodivergent and very challenging to deal with sometimes. It runs through the family. So I guess for them chaos is normal.

Chaos also means unpredictable; you never know what's going to happen next. The rest of us though, think we can pin things down, keep everything the same, to keep chaos away from us. Another friend told me about her house hunting and my attempt to get her to think more positively about her chances of finding just what she wants - 'Yes but that's not reality is it? The reality is .... blah blah blah.

I tried to get her to stop predicting the all bad future and think maybe the property she wants is going to come to her, very soon. She's had a difficult few months and tends to predict the future based on the past. Which is what we all do sometimes, isn't it? But stop. Think about it. How many times have your nay-saying, doom and gloom predictions suddenly switched and a different scenario that you hadn't expected at all suddenly appeared? Just when you'd given up all hope?

Daily life is totally unpredictable, isn't it? So maybe my cousin's right, we should embrace chaos in our lives and stop trying to force things to be predictable. We're all going to die, aren't we? And yet we spend our lives ignoring, denying and pushing away that rather large piece in the jigsaw of our lives. One great Buddhist teacher used to make his followers go meditate in the charnel grounds (in India), that's the place where bodies are burnt on large, elaborate funeral pyres. It was his attempt to get them to face the most unpredictable event of our lives over which we have virtually no control. Look death in the face and tell me you want your life to be predictable.

Here's a poem I wrote about this topic a year or 2 ago. When you approach 70, you realise that most of your life is over and you have to start thinking about how much longer you've got. This one is relating to that -

When it’s my turn

When they come knocking

I think I’ll be surprised

I think I’ll answer the door

and say ‘Oh is it time already?

I think I’ll say ‘but I’ve still got things to do.

I have to finish a project or two.

Are you sure I have to go now?

Are you saying it’s too late?

Are you saying it has to be now?

Not any other time in the future?

You’re not joking are you?

This isn’t some scam?

You actually mean now.

But my friends will be upset

My daughters will be upset

My grandsons will be upset.

I don’t think I want to go now.

What do you mean ‘no choice’?

But where will I go? Who will I see?

Oh my Dad, my gran, even my Mum

will be waiting for me?

My beloved friends Val and Steph

will be waiting for me

They will hold my invisible hands

and guide me through the transition?

But hang on a minute ….

______________________________________

I'm not trying to depress you. It's just that my beloved cousin/niece got me thinking about chaos and all our futile attempts to push it away from us. She who lives in the middle of struggle and chaos seems to have found a way to embrace it, even to enjoy it. Life is unpredictable, isn't it? That's reality.

* When it’s my turn