PURPLE PROSE
Many years ago, when my ex-husband was living and working in Indonesia, he asked me to give feedback on a draft novel by a would-be sci-fi writer he knew. It was well written in parts, but my only real feedback was: too much purple prose.
I never found out whether he finished the book, or whether he took my advice to improve his style. But purple prose has stuck in my mind ever since. You may already know what it is, or you may be wondering — but if you’re a writer, it’s something you’ll want to avoid.
Simply put, purple prose happens when the style overwhelms
the story. Instead of keeping things clean and direct, the writer drowns the
sentence in ornate adjectives and overblown metaphors.
For example:
Simple: She opened the window to smell the sea breeze.
Purple: Her slender hand clicked the gilded latch, the window swung open and a blast of pure ozone assailed her wide nostrils.
You get the idea. The straight-forward action gets buried
under decoration.
It shows up in speech too. You say you’re going for a walk,
and someone
replies, “That
sounds absolutely amazing, have a truly wonderful, glorious walk!” A bit much
for a stroll in the park.
So why do writers do it? Often because they think it will
make their work sound “literary” or impressive. In fact, the opposite is true.
Purple prose buries meaning, slows the pace, and risks losing the reader’s
attention.
It interrupts the flow of your story.
What’s the cure?
One good method is to read your work aloud, preferably in a writers’ group. You’ll soon hear which sentences flow — and which stumble under their own weight. Others’ feedback helps too: 'Does this serve the story, or just the sentence?' is a useful question to keep in mind.
That said, lush description isn’t always bad. Fantasy, gothic, and romance sometimes benefit from a little stylistic excess. The trick is to know when you’re enhancing the mood — and when you’re smothering it.
As a poet, I frequently see the same issue in the work of new poets. I run a monthly poetry event and I'm a performance poet with 3 published collections.
(Not a Bad Word — next one 23rd September @ The Old Dairy, N8, if you’re in London).
Beginners sometimes send me poems filled with flowery, over-lyrical descriptions of nature or emotions. It makes me smile, because we’ve all been there.
In poetry and prose alike, restraint is powerful. Pare down each line. Focus on rhythm — not rhyme — on structure and sound. Most adjectives are unnecessary. Strong nouns and verbs will always do the heavy lifting for you.
So beware the purple prose trap. Keep your writing spare, simple, and clear. Your readers will thank you for it.
